"While reaching for the stars I touched the moon"

I dream about  writing as a color scheme

One line becomes nine

This is the beginning of my dream

The next lines will get you intertwined

I dream about climbing to a mountain top with my eyes wide shut

I dream about swimming with fish without a life jacket

I dream about living in a big house without picket fence

I dream about bungee jumping without the cord
I dream with imperfection

Dreaming with my eyes open my brain keeps on twirking

Dreaming about Purple Skies, Pink Moon, running through a yellow field

Dreaming about  playing on a sun filled rainy day

Dreaming about snow falling on a summer day

Dreaming about the impossible being possible

What is Cape Verde?

My parents uprooted their whole family to another country, I can't be afraid to go anywhere I'm only afraid of going nowhere..

What is Cape Verde? I have been asked that question more times than I can count! It is beautiful, it is black, it is white, it is every different shade. It is poor, rich in many different ways. It is African, Portuguese, we have more cultures running through our veins, more than I can even begin to say.


The women dance from their hips to the sounds of Coladeira, Funana, and Morna. Let's not forget the smells and taste of Catchupa, Canja, Arroz ku fijon, and Pastels.

You ask what is Cape Verde??? It is a small piece of the map on the west coast of Africa but it spreads like wild fire. I live here, I live there, I am everywhere.

My people hold my flag high with pride, got my independence in '75. I am your mother, your father, I am the volcanos that might erupt. I am the hot black sand. I am Brava, Praia, San Vincente, Sal, Boa Vista, Maio, Fogo, Santa Luzia, Santo Antao. I am Cardoso, Pereira, Gibau, Goncalves, Gomes, Barros, Barbosa, Baptista, Rodrigues, Teixeira, Depina, please let me know if I have left you out. This is Cabo Verde, Cape Verde, Cape Verdean.

Dear John,

You shattered me into a million pieces!  My heart is filled with creases.  I trusted so much; even looking in the mirror couldn’t help me see.  I was willing to stand by your side, even through the really bad times.  I write what I feel.  If I were colors, I would be Teal.  My face was flushed with tears.  You ran away from your biggest fear.  Letting me in, letting me love you.  The woman before, how could she hurt you?  I am not she, and you cannot see past me.

Always had a problem with the slip of the tongue, my anger keeps asking to come.  Now I keep it silent, until you’re sitting at my front door crying.  I don’t go down memory lane.  I lock that shyt up, dead bolted in my brain.  If you get a busy tone, just know love is on my other line.

If I no longer get upset, just know the love is gone…

If I no longer respond, just know I could no longer hold on…

If you are reading this letter, just know you’ve received my “Dear John.”

 Sincerely, Shattered but not Broken

"Thinking Of You Always"

The thought of you makes me smile, when you were no longer here I started to cry. The light came down on me, and with that my heart knew one day we would once again meet. I think of you from time to time. The day you passed will forever remain in my mind. You touched my mind, my heart, and with your loss you touched my soul. A real angel was here on Earth. We sit and tell stories about you, and laugh so hard. We now live our lives because of you. When people mention you, they mention all the good you would do. Like vanilla sky we wake, and it is a different time. But in our hearts you will always shine.

by Amarisa Mija Cardoso on Thursday, August 12, 2010 at 11:14am

 

"Temptation"

You broke my heart...

For a second, broke my Mind
My brain and heart will never be intertwined

All I got is my dime

I made a call but still it did not shine.
You looked but did not see me

All I wanted was you to listen not hear me talking...
One ear out the other then you play pretend

So much aggression, why you keep letting her in?
Temptation has you fully attached to she plays devil advocate
While I tap you on the right side of your shoulder.
Like school days wake up, EVERYBODY WAKE UP!
Love is not a game...

It is known to drive people out of their sane state of mind.
Melon drops of tears

I loved you with everything I had left over from the past mistakes
No more sugar plum baby cakes

I am that woman that you left over temptation
Now she has left you alone with your thoughts of damn she was so down for me...
I'm going to build 'til I can't build no more

You will feel me come out your pores
I can't cry forever,

Let you lie to me forever

You took the last bite of the pie......

2009

"ABSTRACT LOVE"

He must've fell from the sky, the stars twinkle in his eyes. Some say he is from Mars I say the moon, why wasn't he sent to me sooner. Let's not play any games tell me your name….I saw your smile and thought we  might chat for a while…Like a silly school girl butterflies in my tummy you look sooooo yummy..
He wonders why I call him fresh with his one two step. Madd cool with a hint of old school. The walls are up but he can tear them down. Handles me with care leaves me with no fears. No longer stuck on stupid struck by cupid.  Smiling from ear to ear he leaves me without fear. The past is full of lies so step back and let me sing you a real lullaby. You unmasked me with your eyes like you want to see what's inside. Tear down my walls like Niagara Falls.  What is in the light came from the dark, strike a match he is a good catch. His voice beats so soft on my ear drums .. Cosmically bound he makes my world go round.  Take me on a trip with black sand I will gladly hold your hands…The touch of a real man has helped me outgrow my past. We will live long lives the thought of 
not having you gives me hives...

Abstract Love.2009

  "Watching Time Fall"

Trapped in these walls watching time fall.
I can not step back but only move forward.
I sit and think I always have tomorrow,
But seem to forget the time is only borrowed,
have drowned myself in my own sorrows
have walked steps can't begin to count the miles
have grown like the connection of tiles.
Living without regret willing to forgive
so I can take the load off of my heart, mind, soul
Taking up to much space and time
You have not noticed you solicit the crime
one tear drop for every minute that I let you push me back in time
I am resilient
have walked with the weight on my back
Lifted it to my shoulders and I finally hold it above my head
I pass this strength of my arms to my daughter
she will never watch time fall
Learn from me while I still am allowed to be
I am not a star but have learned over time to warm my heart
Money, clothes, and cars never make you who you are
Patient, discipline, faith, family, friends and morals Is what comes deep down from the core
Counter clockwise as I now watch time rise "So Much Potential" a work in progress.

"Untitled Love"

You want me to flow from my core, please say no more.
 I was dropped from the sky, to the distant place called Earth.
 I was put here to learn your life form, and still I stand confused.
 28 years and this world has become my muse..


Neon signs aren't bright enough, to touch these colors in my words.
She sings like a bird, That's what I heard.
You're a part of my past, a piece of my present,
My future is made up of you

Lasting

Head down as I dream awake

I tend to take the impossible and mold it into my own realm-

Studying, thinking, and ace-ing this test.

You would think I'm rewarded a degree,

After all, I'm in a class all by myself-

Who's there to compete or tell me how to slay this 'impossible' dream ?

Scribbling two names a heart on the hardwood of my desk top,

The gum stuck under has a longer lifeline than I;

But the same task...

To 'stick' around as much as possible.

As I sit and wait impatiently for the bell to ring, I smell over bearing hints of chalk  pencil shavings...

but still a bit of the gum.

I get it.

Through the harsh realities, there is a savory taste.

as my last question is answered and the pencil hits my desk-- the bell rings.

But I decide to sit, feel;

Taste LOVE.

by Sasha Zayas (Reckless Still_. )

Let's Make A Movie

You talkin bout a scene

girl let's make a movie

We won't need any other actors

It will only just be you and me.

You're my leading lady

and I'm your leading man.

No director can tell us "cut"

only our loss of love can.

The script has not been written

so we will need to ad-lib.

The screen has faded to black

it's time for our movie to begin...


by: Zach Green

"Niggas Fuck Up"

Niggas fuck up but I always call their bluff

I'm holding the deck in my hand

I know exactly where you stand

Outside that door got you yearning for more

Tell me you don't want me tell me you don't need me

holding all your thoughts so shook when you got caught

Now your begging for me to take you back in

After you committed an original sin.

Did it really feel that good?

now you’re stuck with a major wood...
Looking through a peep hole

I am forever embedded in your soul.

Cries never that , Lies it was always that.

I'm a solid chic stop thinking with your D***

Niggas Fuck up so ladies toughen up
 
 
The only competition I'm scared of is henny

You so wrapped up until you put it in me

Silence is not a part of my anatomy

I say what I mean and hope you get offended

My heart is not an extension

The only thing you will feel is the tension

When I show you who I am

Get ready for this exam

Take notes write the shyt down

At the end of the day your still a clown.
 
Now you calling me all crying

Revert back to my words I wasn't lying

I don't love no more my hearts on love lock down.

Please compose yourself

You won't find anyone better but you will find someone else

I'm on to the next leave him feeling like hanging himself by his neck.

Can't deal with the madness past days of sadness.

I don't cry I don't beg if you thought I liked you it was all in your head.

I am a woman with prides I just push niggas to the side.

I make my own bread with that said….. “Niggas Fuck up”  “Woman Fuck up too”

"FREE"

I know so  many talented people.
The colors are so divine, the writing just takes you to another place and time...
To be able to see with those set of eyes, it will always keep you alive.
I feel when it's just me.
My mind has never been this open before.
Thank you for blessing me with ink.
When I write my pen just sinks.
Like writing is my disease, and without it would be no me.
I have a problem with my words, but if I jumble them together I can share it with the world.
The thoughts start to formulate, and the volumes start to penetrate. This is my disease come comfort me. 

"SILENT CRIES"

In order for us to receive something we want, He takes so our hands can be empty to receive. The days we look up and ask why, he listens to all our cries. You might not hear his voice but he always responds. He is my only judge, your words speak but not my truth.
 

Anger never fills my heart, even when lies fill your tongue. Your war has just begun and my mind and heart have finally become one.  I would never even let my enemy starve, to many people with cold hearts. What type of world have we come from? Friends become enemies, lies become steady stream of everyday talk. Why do you worry about the next girl in Reebok. 

"BOSTON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Put my face all over your flyers
Plastered on  the Boston walls
You thought you had big balls
Oohweeeee! All eyes on  eyes on me
Scratching the surface of what I can be…
To all those who lost  senseless
Dying mothers crying
Newspaper smears across the front page:  Roxchester, Murdapan
You think that's cute?
Why don't you find out who I  really am?
These people had a name
This is insanity…to only be known as  another fatality
Flowing like fish under the deep blue sea Colors  endless to be no life jackets
But blackberries don't hate just recreate
So clean off your plate
Chopping wood the ax isn’t any good
With the  juice of papaya call ‘em sire
Bend their wire
Balance me out I will cause  a drought
Rainfalls, pitfalls, at some point we are the cause
So get  one, two involved
One person does make a difference
Someone is bound to  listen over the sound waves It will replay
Boston got my heart
She  was there from the start
So let me take the lead
Politics you will  listen to me
How many Walks for Peace must we have before you will clean the  city streets
Lights will never take a one-way flight
Visit all the graves
Take your time out and pray
There’s too much silence
Stop all the violence

"MY OWN PACE"

Just because you whisper in my ear, doesn't mean it's something I want to hear..
I walk at my own pace, your sweet nothings will not help you win the race. 
You are a contestant on my show.  Please remove yourself from the front row..
I use my feet to stand.  I guided myself with my hands.
The music in the background that is my live band.
I escape my mind with every new line. No space, no time just me and my rhymes.
Why did I get blessed and cursed? So I can help the ones after me reverse. Back up, slow down just a bit..
Tattoos all over my hand saying take me for who I am..
I have been through some ruff sands.
God is good so I stay clapping my hands.
If you didn't know look at my imprint in the sand. 

 ©copyright2010 Amarisa Cardoso

"MY DREAM, YOUR REALITY"

When you speak all I see is a fantasy leaving your mind to your lips. Lies will consume you until you are no longer you. Looking in the mirror will be a figment of your imagination, putting implantation in the air. Slowly people will start to stare , loudly people will start to speak. Is it is it really Me?!





I dream with my eyes wide open, lashes flickering Every day thoughts of me coping. laying with my arms wide open. I choke on every breath like a cold death .




Words whisper in my ears, you’re a lost soul that can’t be found. Can you hear it in my voice?! Like an angel touching the ground. These voices you believe you see and in them you live this reality.




I say a prayer for you and would take away your pain, Give me one day in your shoes. If misery ask to dance with your soul, decline, rejoice and take control. I dream and when I wake I tap dance around misery. I woke up from this dream but you are stuck in this reality.

"THROUGH MY DAUGHTER'S EYES"

Just a matter of time I would become a product of a wild child.
She would be my cross to bare. Not even a thought in her mind. When he climbed on top she was nothing more then a child
herself. But she had felt the pain of her elders many times over
at such a young age. Along I came growing inside of her. At
first I had thoughts of my death, but would it have felt any different then being born. That day came like an earthquake,
no warning. I went from her warm womb, to her warm arms
and that smile. They think you see the light leaving this
world but you see the brightest light coming in. You lived the first time you held me, that feeling that you could never
explain, even with your deepest of words.
I arrived at my fourth home don't remember much.
The one thing I remember when you thought I couldn't
feel is you laying your head gently on my chest to hear
my heart. And how you would lay me on your chest to
show me how much are hearts were one. I felt it.
That was the first time I cried and she saw the world
through my eyes...

Round Two of...
"FREE YOUR WORDS"
With Jim D. & Amarisa C.




Amarisa C.-Wipe the dust from your eyes that is all that will be left when I am saying bye bye

Jim D. -while my distance is apparent your heart lingers like the smell of death...wondering about thy whereabouts my existence..

Amarisa C.-I turned my back cuz what you did was whack. You smeared my name all over the front page...trapped in your mind like a locked cage I will no longer engage in your foolish ways..


Jim D. -your name was useless so is your being..why do you exist.. to complain about pain.. wish you away...puff!!! what's your name again..

Amarisa C. -I know you say this all out of pain not sorry for your hurt you drove yourself insane...on the tip of your tongue my name will remain like the taste of sugar cane

Jim D. -yeah, your sweetness like salt..i need more water..to wash away the stain of you.. I remember you like a roach stepped on...so dismissed...like leaves blowing in the wind which one are you..

Amarisa C. -The stench of your lies you tried to make me believe but you are as real as weave…like a little kid playing hide n seek you will no longer see me…….I say this once because I am kind but don't get me twisted I give you both fingers one at a time...

Jim D. -how can a man lie to a lie....an illusion of mirrors..to a cloud that rains..to muddy waters..to shit in toilet.. to the negative in the numbers equation.. 0 plus 0 is Zero.. who you..

Amarisa C. -I am that vine that you will forever long to climb...from the roots I blossom now lay there and play possum. You ask who am I???? You wouldn't be able to multiply that high ...So I will save that for another day bring it to me and I will flip it all day.....

Jim D. -2 inches is not high and weeds are not vines..let take time to fine tune that mind..how does nothing speak..the math is simple...no need to count...there's nothing there..0 is 0 is that clear.. is it my substance that you fear.. it is ok to declare..

Amarisa C. -you started a battle this is my field bring all you armor but I will still bring you to your knees....begging me for mercy while you hold up your shield...I will plant my flag play with you like a rag doll slowly I will watch you fall...

Jim D.-ar de har defeat i no none.. i don't fight shadows i don't chase the wind... flesh and bone i recognize.. not fairy tales of pixie dust and dragons breath.. timberland boot check.. as i plant it in your rear..

Amarisa C. -Like a game chess bring your best game forward built like a horse I will charge with full force. when I'm done you will need a bodyguard no malice no remorse

Jim D. -simpler than checkers; more basic than tic tac toe...unlady like Purdue, movements like rodents...want cheese or you prefer to be shake and baked..

Amarisa C. -you need me like a pulse last breath I can feel it in the air...I will leave you with your thoughts of I use to care....I live without no fear and what I have to say you can not handle to hear...I leave you with my last words on replay bye bye you will not see me for the rest of your days...

"YOU'RE LAME, WITH YOUR BULLSHIT GAME"

Rita- Dreaming, Scheming, shit you are Snake better yet a Psycho, a Demon. Lost beyond words Feed that bullshit to the birds.

Amarisa- Lost in the mist oh well now you are pissed....Forget the birds pigeons wouldn't even take your bread crumbs....

Rita- The money, time.. Didn't care because I was your dime.. A reason to make you shine. You grabbed my heart and let go. Released all the pain. That was driving me insane. Was lost.. No longer will I continue to let you control me like a boss. Lust, Love felt like it fit like a glove. But enough! I will continue to be tough

Amarisa- The Grass is gray on the other side not even your pride can stop you from seeing who was your ryde or dye...I was with you when you let go of your pride and I watched you cry. Told to be strong for you and had that all day boo. Not even the rain can make it green now you seen now you lost...

Rita-  Lost, confused. Got you feeling in a negative mood. Played with fire.. Is this really what you want? To hurt me and then just walk away and retire?! Was it a game? Playing stupid like what's his name

Amarisa- Playing stupid is his name now he walks around in shame. Who else can he blame but self he ain't got no wealth his pocket and his mind is empty...

Rita- Empty! Without a penny to claim. You’re the reason some women tend to find someone else to blame.. Loyality, Honesty. Something you could never regain.

Amarisa-  Got you digging in a wish well...your luck will not change shyt will never be the same...got you watching the crying game...

Rita-  You’re a lame. Talking 'bout you ain't mad you're strong.. Please you played me you know you was dead wrong. Thought you were different. The one.. Guess for a second you thought I was dumb.

Amarisa-  I was the umbrella to your rain but the wind blew me away…could never get back to that place I get sick to even thinking of your face...

Rita-  Realizing now.. Time does tell. I can't destroy my voice. You made your choice.

Amarisa-  Like the seasons you’re gone for a reason no more blue jays just cold days.

"TODAY"

People ain’t like they use to be
especially when you know
you're all you use to be.
Feeling the coldness coming over me,
I opened my eyes so now my heart can see.
Do I let it take over me??
Or do I walk away and let it take over you?
Woke up feeling kinda low today,
woke up thinking somebody died today.
Somebody was born today.
How do I feel?
I ask because I really don’t know
how I feel today.
With every new life there was a loss today
and I shed tears of joy and pain today.
I’m only human so I always think about yesterday.
I sit here and write everyday so that tomorrow
I can start a new day.

If I cried would you wipe my eyes?
If I was thirsty would you fill up my glass?

©copyright2010 Amarisa Cardoso