Epiphany

If I had a penny for every time we do this love hate thing I would have my own wishing well.

Looking at the bottom of the well, they all faced right face up except that one. I got lost in what felt like a love spell. The kind you only read in fairy tales. The water overflowed to the ground. My reflection was all that I saw standing alone.   
                                                        This was my epiphany. 

                                                I had to connect the two fish that ran through me

                                               One was strong the other was weak 
                                               One tugged at my brain 
                                               The other played with my heart strings smooth like a violin 
                                               I can't say I would want to feel any other way 
                                               Silver and green why did that intrigue me?

Let it flow

My Brain and heart can’t stop arguing at night

My brain is screaming will you just go with the flow

My Heart is screaming let the blood flow

So the next question is what is in the middle

Stop pulling on your own heart strings

Stop letting it control how you feel

You came way too far to go back down stream

So please go to sleep and get out of my brain 

Is this Love?!

What is love?

Love is amazing

Love is confusing 

Love can awaken your soul

Love can make your heart ache

Love can be confusing

Love will have you wondering 

Love will have you thinking

Is this love? 

Is this lust ? 

Is he/she the one 

Is this like the last one

Will this last in the long run? 

Will this make me happy in the long run ?

Will I hate you in the long run ?

How do I know ?

Do I take a leap of faith ?

Do I just look the other way and run ? 

I don't know if this is love

I don't know if my soul is involved 

I don't know if my heart is involved

I know my mind wants to know 

Is this love?! 

If I was asked what was my biggest accomplishment in life

It would be you!

Who would have known at 18 I would have had a child like you

That I would thank god every day for you

Who would have known that this child would help me grow

Who would have known this child would have been such a beautiful soul

Until this day and moving forward

You will always be my number one reward

You have grown into a beautiful rose

The concrete will never have a hold of you

 

 

Mr. Nice Guy

Why did it take me so long to recognize you?!

Mr. Nice Guy why did I look past you ?

I didn't think I deserved you

Now I'm lost in you

As I start to unravel you

Thread by thread I want to explore every bit of you

Staring into space

I caught a glimpse of you

I like  the scent of you

I like to be able to smile with you

At the same time be able to be so open with you

Graffiti

I lost my smile for a few days

I was hoping it was over the hill at the end of the rainbow

My heart covered in rose peddles

Reaching out like tree branches to the leaves

I can't pretend I'm not in daze

Your love was written all over my face

I went back and forth about the sunny days

I pulled out my umbrella to hide the pain

Dripping down my face 

Like graffiti you cannot be erased

It used to be a beautiful mural

Now it is tagged like gang signs

I repainted it  white

Started all over with one stroke

The colors started to overflow 

One more time I said

One more love I said

One more kiss I said

One more time I gazed in your depth

One more time but never did I regret

How I loved you so



How do you erase someone from your soul ?!

I listened to comfort inn

The music started to soak in

My thoughts started to soak in

The writing started to repeat again again

Your face your smile in my brain cells 

Soul Mate

I wear the pain on my finger like a wedding band

Songs in the background like a marching band

What is the right thing to do or say?!

I love you doesn't sound right either

I hate you doesn't sound right either

At this moment I choose neither

I always speak my thoughts

You have blurred my thoughts

So if I speak sideways

I’m just counting your ways

I can't seem to get rid of these knots 

If he could he would rent space in my thoughts 

Internal sunshine of the spotless mind If I could erase the memory would I ?!

Thinking About US

I’m falling back tonight

Not even thinking about us tonight

You want to love me?

You want to hug me?

You want to &^&^  me ? 

Start thinking about we!

Take me off chill and offer me your key

I will unlock your heart

I will screw your mind

I don’t have to think about us

When all I been thinking about is we

Lost in sound

For the life of me

I Can’t understand why I allowed you to take the light from me

I hate watching you spiral out of control

Like you have no handles

One day you are OK

The next day you're NOT

The friendship will forever be there

But for the moment I cannot be there

I will help you when you are down

But Can’t allow you to push me to the ground

I thank my mother for my heart My father for my mind

If I didn't have this mix

I would be forever be lost in your sound

Quote of the month

                   Standing like an imprint on the wall 

 Push Hard never watch me fall

Standing like an imprint on the wall 

Push hard never watch me fall 

Love Lost

I saw my first love in passing

He Smiled

I Smiled


His Smile was like the Boston Skyline

When I looked into his eyes, it was like counting stars

Trying to connect the dots


All the while we never had a moment to apologize

Life passed us both by

The glance he gave knowing he was my soulmate from another lifetime

I could never say how sorry and happy I was

Looking back we didn't have a clue


For a brief moment we stood in silence

I apologized, he apologized

without even saying a word

You will always be my first love so no love lost

As we both walked on by

the only thought I want to be left of you is that Smile

Many Hearts

They say it takes a village to raise a child

So many hands have carried you until you became an adult, my child

Your mother, Your father

Aunts and uncles

You had the privellage to grow up in a village

The stories that were told to you

Became written in stone for you

We all fight against our  own current 

With the help of a village you returned back to shore

From wiping you tears

and letting you know you can be more then your fears

From lessons in school to lessons from the old school

Everyone in your life played a part

You are a symbol of many hearts

The village raised you

They can now praise you

You can look back on this wealth

And  now you know how to help those that come after you

The village that raised me helped me raise you

Quote of the month

If silence is golden I've already said to much.I don't respond to nonsense I let you respond to yourself.

Quote of the month

" Sadness sometimes shows you the light of happiness. In the mist of tears I stopped and smiled at the thought of you"

Speaking in Silence

 I keep certain thoughts to myself no need to waste my breath I just put my thoughts into writing

Everybody wants you to listen

But you are not allowed to speak

That is when you must make a choice 

Will you listen up when I speak in silence?!

The day you call looking for guidance

Sorry I lost my voice on those long drawn out phone calls

When I listened and you spoke

Over and over couldn't get in a word

I started learning how to drop those calls

Pressing nothing but ignore

If I disappeared would you even notice?!

That wasn't a question

I will not change who I am and will continue to lend an ear when needed 

 but will also let my voice be heard when needed

This is when I will be considered a B

But the world has room for much more than you and me

Thank you for opening my eyes and closing my ears so I can see


How does it feel to be left holding the receiver?!

Release

When something consumes your mind they call that insanity

It's dirtier than profanity

Repeating the same thought a million times

Take a number wait in line

Learning meditation until you release the feeling

Breathing in and out release the feeling

Thoughts not only consume your mind they start to consume your body

Trying something new had my taste buds dancing and my mind became open
and more enchanted

By the time I was done breathing it felt like such a release

One breath, two breaths then the final release

The thought in repeat had left my mind until it was no longer a memory.

Tears of Gold

Listening to heart and soul

If I could write my tears would be gold

My paper would be soaked I would flood your computer screen

You couldn't even pretend to know

What I was told and what was seen

I've only broke down in front of a selected few

  

Instead of crying in front of the world

I tell my story in hopes it will help at least one girl

Not ashamed of my past but hope it will help your future

Not trying to be a preacher but a teacher from my mistakes

The last year has been a whirlwind

I thank God for allowing me in

I finally realized how to let him in

He blessed me with this skill for a reason

I will use it for all my seasons  

They call it writers block

Nothing I dislike more than writer's block

Means it's time to cut out some of the flock

I write one line

I erase two lines

I post and unpost

So far this is what I have today

How do you have so much and so little to say?

Time to take a long walk blasting that Jill Scott

 Music improves my thoughts

While taking a long walk

Realized I wasn't born to stay silent

I was born to make a sound

If I'm quiet it's an explosion in my mind

I have enough to say

I will cotinue to fill your news page

While feeding your brain

They called it writer's block

I call it having a long thought

Clear as day

Acting like I don't have any feelings for you is clear as day. You see right through me and that's how I know you are him. My Mr. Right has always been under my nose but he doesn't even know ...is it better to stay friends?  That's what "they" say.  If it's not me and you until the end, will we still remain friends?  Love and friendship is a thin line but I want to try this time  ..he knows who he is, I underestimated him, he is just waiting for me to say: you are what I need. Having my words stuck on the tip of my lips. I look into his eyes and I start to renege this. What do I say? What do I do? Stuck on one line, trying to make it ryhme. But there is no rhyme or reason, want to grasp this before the change of the season.

The words slowly started dripping from the tip of my lips. My legs nervoulsy started to twitch.. If you like me and I like you let's take a walk into each others hearts. Me and you feels like one of a kind. They say this feeling comes once in a lifetime.

He said let my mind taste this. Let me take the words right from your lips. I've been also feeling this. I've been trying to act like all I wanted was your friendship, but I want a relationship. "So Beautiful" playing in the background.. It became the sweetest sound......

History

                                                History

We have so much history

We grew up together

Now we hardly speak to each other

We use to jump the fence with each other

Now we are standing on the other side of the fence barely looking at each other

Your mother was like my mother

Now we don't even know one another

I never thought I would be looking through the looking glass

We have, had so much history now shake hands with my past

This time has come to pass

I can't say you are not missed

But I can't say I regret this

Some may think it's cold for letting go

But only me and you know

Knowing someone since you were a few years old

Does not mean you two will grow old

Always think of you but made an art form of letting go